Do You See What I See?
by 2brown-eyes
Summary: Could the positive outlook of one girl overcome the bitterness of another on Christmas?


**Gabby and April, thank you for pre-reading, and Fran, thank you for editing. Any mistakes left are my own.**

 **1** **st** **place public vote for story and banner in Jingle All the Way Contest. 3** **rd** **place judges for banner.**

 **Standard Disclaimer:** **The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **Do You See What I See?**

I crossed the quad on campus while reading my returned assignment from my professor. I was so absorbed in what I was doing that I bumped into someone, sending them sprawling into the snow bank.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you all right?" I made sure my hood was up before looking down, cringing when I realized who I'd hit.

"That's okay; I wasn't watching either." She laughed.

Bella sat on the snowy ground wearing a Santa cap with a blue parka. Under her coat, I spotted a Christmas sweater. Today, her sightless, brown eyes were covered with red tinted sunglasses.

"Is that you, Edward?" She looked up in my general direction.

"Yeah, it's me. Would you like help?" I stretched out my hand to her.

She reached in my direction, and I grasped her hand and helped her to her feet. I bent down to retrieve her bag and frowned when picking up her bent cane.

"I'm really sorry about that. Are you sure you're okay?" I asked her.

"I'm fine," she repeated with a small smile. She was trying to brush all the snow off her.

"I have your things; I'm afraid your cane got bent," I apologized.

She sighed as she took it from me.

"It was old and needed replacing anyway. Are you busy right now?" she asked.

"No, not really. Why?" I asked, shifting my bag on my shoulder.

"Well, I've already gotten myself lost since I've never been to this building before, and without my cane, it's going to be harder. Could you help me find Spaulding Auditorium? I promised Alice I'd come help assemble Christmas care packages to mail out today," she asked.

"Isn't it early to worry about Christmas? Thanksgiving was only last week." I groaned, I hated the holiday season. It seemed it started earlier every year, too—I swear I saw a Christmas commercial before Halloween this year.

"Well, they're for the troops overseas, so they have to be mailed early." Bella blushed.

I felt like a heel for disparaging her good deed—I had to fix it.

"I'm a jerk. Of course, I can bring you." I reached for her elbow.

"Actually, it would be better if I take yours." She switched, so she was holding on to me.

Right, I should've known. Bella was friends with my roommate's girlfriend, so I'd been around her enough that I should've learned these things.

"If you take a half turn to your right, we'll head in the correct direction," I directed her.

We started to walk together, and I was hyper aware of her hand wrapped around my bicep and her side brushing against mine. She softly hummed under her breath, " _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."_

"Is the tree set up yet?" Bella asked me suddenly.

"What tree?" I asked.

"The tree in the square that they decorate with lights for Christmas," she responded.

I looked around and spotted the one she was looking for. There were workers and ladders by a large evergreen tree, which was about half covered in decorations.

"Ah yeah … it looks like they're setting it up now," I commented.

"Are they using colored lights or white this year?" she asked.

"I can't really tell from here. It looks like they might be colored." I squinted my eyes to see—the angle of the sun didn't give me a good view.

When we got to the street, I stopped her from crossing since a car was coming.

"Okay, we can cross. In about two steps, you're going to step down off the curb," I warned.

"You're not too bad at this." She smiled softly.

"I've just observed Alice helping you. Step up with your left foot," I answered.

When we got into the auditorium a few moments later, I heard a squeal, then a tiny girl ran across the room like a blur of red, green, and tinkling bells.

"There you are, Bella. I was starting to think you got lost." Alice stopped in front of her, bouncing, so she jingled.

"I did … a little. Edward was kind enough to help me." Bella tilted her head at me with a smile.

Alice glanced up at me and then quickly avoided eye contact—like most people did. Ever since the accident, no one looked me straight in the face; unless it was Halloween when they thought the scars were part of my costume.

"Oh, hi, Edward. Are you going to help us too?" She smiled brightly.

She was wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and on her head where blinking antlers. There was a large bell around her neck along with Christmas bulbs for earrings. I was actually surprised she wasn't wearing elf shoes.

"I can't stay. I just wanted to make sure that Bella arrived here safely since her cane is broken." I started to back away.

"It broke? I told you, you needed to get a new one." Alice placed her hands on her hips as she shook her head.

"I know, but I was hoping Jasper could fix this one so I could wait until after Christmas since I have presents to buy."

I rolled my eyes and sighed; was she another person that went crazy this time of year?

"I can buy you a new one since it was my fault," I blurted out.

Both girls looked towards me in surprise. Alice smirked slightly but said nothing, which was new for her.

"You don't have to do that. I told you, my cane was old and about ready to go anyway. But thank you for the offer." Bella smiled. "Could you stay? We could always use an extra pair of hands."

I looked around the room quickly. Christmas music was blaring with people singing along as they were packing boxes.

"I can't, I'll see"—I winced—"I'll talk to you later." I hurried away.

 **C**

A few days later, I was sitting in my required composition class when a musical voice cleared their throat beside me.

"Hi, Edward, is the seat next to you available?" I looked up to see Bella standing in the aisle. She was wearing the Santa hat again; however, no Christmas sweater today. And this time her glasses were tinted green.

"It is, but let me move over for you so you can have the aisle." I quickly moved my stuff. She waited until she heard me move then cautiously settled into her seat. I noticed her new cane.

"You got a new one?" I commented lightly.

"It was an early Christmas present from Alice," Bella answered.

"By the way, how did you know it was me sitting here?" I asked.

"I could smell you," she answered with a smile.

I frowned and took a subtle sniff of myself. I had showered last night, so I thought I was okay. Bella giggled from beside me.

"You smell like Irish Spring soap." She grinned.

"That's a relief," I admitted.

I looked horrible enough, I didn't need to smell bad too. If Bella knew what I looked like, she probably wouldn't be talking to me. She was silent for a moment before she pulled out a recorder and set it on the table.

"Why do you hate Christmas so much? I know it's not because you celebrate one of the other holidays," she suddenly asked.

"What makes you think I hate Christmas?" I avoided answering.

"I can hear you when anyone mentions it; you sigh heavily or groan. I think I've even heard you say _bah humbug_ once," she pointed out.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I sat forward in my seat.

She faced me for a moment before turning away.

"Fine, be that way, Ebenezer." She sighed.

I frowned slightly; I didn't like her thinking of me so negatively.

The class went on—we ignored each other. When it was over, I packed and waited for Bella to move, but she remained rooted to her seat.

"Bella, class is over." I wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep.

She turned her head slightly towards me. "I want to change your mind," she stated.

"About what?" I was confused.

"About Christmas. I want to change your mind about it. Will you let me try?" she asked with a small smile that made her look so hopeful.

"I have my reasons for not liking the holiday season, all right?" I ran my hand through my hair.

"Why then?" She crossed her arms across her chest.

Why did she care so much?

"I just do." I groaned not willing to expand.

"That's not a valid reason, but I'll let it go."

I sighed in relief.

"If… you let me try to change your mind I want to show you how great this Christmas can be," she announced with determination

"Why does it matter so much to you?" My resolve was starting to waver.

"It just does." She grinned, and I rolled my eyes.

"That's not a valid reason," I parroted, surprising myself by chuckling.

"Well, it's as good as yours. The first event is this afternoon into the evening. You know where I live, right?" she asked as she stood and adjusted her coat.

"Yeah," I answered, mirroring her actions.

"Great, we'll be starting around three. Be there and bring your smile." She beamed as she walked away.

Wait, did I even agree to this?

 **C**

It was closer to four when I finally showed up at the small house that Bella and her friends rented. I knocked on the door and waited. My roommate, Jasper, opened it with money in hand. He looked surprised to see me but gave me a welcoming smile.

"Hey, Edward, I was starting to think you weren't going to come. I thought you might be the pizza guy. We ordered you a sausage and pepper pizza—did I get that right?"

"Sorry, I was running late, but the pizza sounds great," I responded.

Jasper was a good guy. Since I first met him, he was one of the few people that looked me in the face without responding negatively. It was as if my scars weren't even there, or he just didn't care.

"Well come in before we let all the warm air out. Shoes over on the rack. Just a reminder, don't leave anything on the floor; Bella doesn't use her cane around the house, and she could get hurt if we leave something in a normally clear path." He took my coat and hung it on a rack.

"Okay." I nodded. "What exactly are we doing tonight?"

"We're helping the girls with the holiday baking."

I gave him a nervous look.

"As long as you can follow directions, you'll be fine." He clapped me on the shoulder.

I followed him towards the kitchen. I recognized a couple sitting at one end of long table decorating cookies with frosting and other assorted candies.

"Edward, have you met Emmett and Rose. Guys, this is Edward," Jasper introduced us.

"Nice to meet you," I greeted them.

The girl barely looked up from the Santa cookie she was decorating and nodded. She didn't seem unfriendly, just absorbed in what she was doing.

Emmett paused in the middle of taking a sip of his beer. "Hey, Merry Christmas, Ed —" Emmett hesitated when he saw my face.

He quickly recovered with a grin. "Edward. Would you like a beer?" he offered.

"I don't drink." I shook my head.

Emmett's grin faltered as he glanced at his drink. "Would you be offended if I did? I can switch to soda or something else."

I was surprised by his offer since most wouldn't think twice.

"No that's fine." I turned to look for Bella.

"Hi, Edward." Alice looked up from rolling another type of cookie in a white powdery substance before putting it on a rack. Again, she was decked out head to toe in Christmas gear. She even had reindeer slippers on, and the noses blinked red.

"What's wrong with his face? Did he lose a fight or… ow, Rose," Emmett whispered then cried out behind me.

I shut my eyes, afraid that Bella might have heard him. I didn't want her to treat me differently.

Other girls always seemed disgusted when they looked at me. The few I had the courage to ask out, actually laughed in my face. I just wanted to feel normal with Bella.

"Mind your manners, that's none of your business," Rose scolded him.

Alice grimaced slightly and rolled her eyes. "Ignore him," she mouthed to me.

I spotted Bella in the kitchen with a bowl in front of her and ingredients all over the table. She was still wearing her Santa hat and now had on a red holiday apron covered in candy canes and holly. It flounced out at the bottom, and almost looked like a short dress. She wasn't wearing any colored glasses, so I could see her warm brown eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm late. It smells great in here." I watched her hesitantly for some sign that she heard Emmett.

At the sound of my voice, her face broke out into a broad grin.

"I'm glad you came."

She rounded the counter, reached up on her tiptoes and kissed my scarred cheek. I blinked in surprise not sure how to respond. She just smiled like nothing was wrong then grabbed my hand and pulled me back to her station.

"You can help me in the kitchen."

She quickly dipped her finger in a bowl and held it out. "Here taste this; it should have a peppermint flavor but not be overwhelming."

I paused before I obliged her request and then licked it clean. Her eyelashes fluttered, and her cheeks turned rosy. It was good, but Bella tasted even better.

"I think it's great," I commented bashfully, stepping away.

"Good. If you wouldn't mind, in the fridge are a couple trays of fudge and one of rocky road. Can you cut them up into one-inch squares and then place about a dozen of each in sandwich bags? Where are the bags, Alice?" she called.

"On top of the fridge," she responded.

"The knives and cutting block is over there," Bella directed, pointing at a counter.

I followed her directions and looked over my shoulder to see that she divided her dough into two balls and one was now red. She was rolling them out and twisting them into cookies that looked like candy canes … all the while humming.

"So what are all these for?" I asked. There seemed like a lot for just them.

"We're going to put them on platters and deliver them around town. To the police department, fire station, post office, sanitation department and the hospital lounge in the ER," Bella explained, sliding her first tray in the oven.

"Do you keep any for yourselves," I asked. I was amazed that they did all this work to give it all away.

"Everyone is allowed a taste, but I'll bake again before Christmas," Bella answered.

"Are you making Santa's Whiskers." I noticed the jars of green and red cherries.

My mother used to make those and I loved them. Bella tilted her head to the side and frowned slightly.

"I'm not familiar with that one; is it a favorite of yours?" she asked—I was saved by the doorbell.

"That should be the pizza." Jasper jumped up and headed for the door.

Bella was still looking at me for an answer.

"Just something I remember from when I was a kid." I returned to work.

 **C**

A couple of hours later, all the platters were put together and covered in plastic with bright red bows. I ended up promising Bella that I would help her deliver hers to the police station.

"Are we late?" Bella asked, taking off her apron and reaching out for a hook.

"Late for what?" I asked.

"They're lighting the tree tonight," Alice explained.

"You'll come, right?" Bella looked up at me with a hopeful face.

I opened my mouth to say no, but I ended up saying yes. She smiled as if I just told her she had won the lottery.

"Then let's get going," Jasper announced.

Everyone was waiting at the door; Japer tossed me my coat, and I quickly put it on and zippered it up. I noticed that Bella was now wearing a pair of dark blue tinted glasses.

Jasper opened the door and stepped out before turning back.

"Bells, it's pretty icy out here, you might want to hold onto someone," he suggested.

"Would you mind, Edward?" she asked shyly from beside me.

"Not at all." I held out my arm, and she slipped hers by my elbow.

When we arrived, we found a good spot near the front. Bella looked excited as she stood beside me. I noticed she kept hopping slightly and rubbing her arms as if she was cold. After warring with myself for a few minutes, I spoke.

"Are you cold?"

"A little," she admitted.

I moved closer, so I was blocking the wind.

"Better?" I asked nervously.

I was waiting for her to move away but was pleasantly surprised when she actually leaned into me. Her head rested against my chest. I smiled slightly pleased that she liked to be near me.

"Much." She grinned.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper watching us with a raised eyebrow.

The countdown started, and Bella was cheerfully shouting along with them as I remained silent. The crowd broke out in carols afterward, starting with " _O Christmas Tree."_ Bella had an angelic voice that rang out with joy.

It was when they started sing " _White Christmas,"_ that I knew I had to leave.

"I have to go, I'm sorry," I mumbled quietly, stepping back.

"Edward?" Bella stopped singing and turned toward me. She looked concerned. "Are you all right?" She reached out a hand in my general direction, but I avoided it.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I turned quickly and took off fast.

"Edward, wait." I heard Jasper coming up from behind me.

I glanced back and saw that he was taking long strides to catch up with me. Alice held Bella's arm and was whispering to her. Bella was still frowning in the direction in which I had gone.

"Are you okay, man?" Jasper asked in concern. His hands were in his pockets, and he shifted back and forth trying to keep warm.

"I'm fine, I just need … I have to go. Can you make sure she gets back?" I asked, feeling guilty that I was bailing.

"Of course, I was planning on spending the night anyway."

I nodded sharply and turned to leave.

"Would you do one thing for me, though?" he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder at him.

"Just don't shut her out, man. I think she really likes you."

"That's because she can't see me," I muttered.

"Not everyone judges you by your appearance. I don't." Jasper gave me a sympathetic smile.

"No, but Alice does. She won't even look me in the face," I pointed out.

Jasper looked over at his girlfriend and sighed. He ducked his head and looked sheepish.

"That may be my fault. She asked about you once, and I told her that I noticed it made you uncomfortable to be stared at and to be asked about your scars. Unfortunately, I think she took it too much to heart in the other direction and was trying to be considerate of your feelings. I'll talk to her."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to. If she knew she was hurting your feelings, she'd be mortified," he insisted. "But seriously, do you judge Bella differently because she can't see?"

"No, of course not," I answered, quickly looking back over at her. She had turned away, but she was no longer singing and had her head down and her arms crossed in front of her.

Jasper followed my gaze and smiled.

"Then don't be so afraid to let her in," he reiterated.

"That's not why I'm leaving. I'm just not a huge fan of Christmas," I answered.

He watched me silently for a moment before nodding.

"Okay, then; I guess I'll see you later." He waved and walked back to the girls.

 **C**

I trudged on through the snow and paused to think for awhile on the bridge that had been covered in white lights. Resting my elbows on the railing, I held my head in my hands.

A small voice in my head was telling me to go back. I enjoyed being with Bella. Being with her made me forget why I hated Christmas. But yet, I still couldn't forget that one…

"Edward?" Bella's sweet voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Bella, what are you doing here? It's too dangerous for you to be wandering around," I scolded.

"Jasper helped me. But I wanted to talk to you alone." She frowned.

I looked behind her, and Jasper nodded his head with a pointed look. I gave him a small wave and watched as he walked away, leaving me with Bella.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Come on, I'll walk you back." I tried to take her hand, but she remained stiff.

"You're not okay, don't lie." She pressed her lips into a firm line.

"I…I don't…can't talk about it," I mumbled.

There was a moment of silence between us.

"You've never asked how I lost my eyesight," she said softly.

"I figured that wasn't my business." I shrugged.

She squeezed my hand. "Well, I want it to be. Three years ago, about a week before Christmas, I was in Forks, Washington, visiting my father. We were in a car accident; he was fine, but I lost my eyesight. The doctors told me on Christmas that it wasn't repairable. Since then, I've made it my mission to make the most of the holiday, focusing on the good to keep that horrible memory from ruining my favorite holiday."

My insides turned to ice, and I started to pull away. What were the odds that she was the girl in the other car? I didn't know much about them except that the girl had a head injury that blinded her.

"I'm sorry…so sorry…it was my fault," I rasped.

"What are you talking about?" she looked confused.

She reached out for me, but I shied away from her touch. She took a step forward with her hand stretched out and slipped on a patch of ice—I reflexively caught her.

"Edward, what are you talking about? How can it be your fault?" she asked without skipping a beat.

"I was in the same accident; we were headed to the airport to go visit my grandparents. I was angry with my parents for making me go. I wanted to go on a ski trip with my girlfriend's family, but they refused. My mom was singing _Whi…_ they both died on impact." I clenched my eyes shut.

"That accident wasn't your fault. There was a third car, the driver was drunk and should never have been on the road," Bella said softly.

"I know but…" I trailed off. I still felt so guilty

"Charlie, my dad, blamed himself for the longest time. He was the only one not injured in that three-car accident. He thought he should've been able to avoid it since he was a police officer. He finally broke down and began seeing someone to help him with his guilt," she commented lightly. "I'm sure your parents don't blame you and know that you loved them."

"I tried a counselor, but I couldn't stand the pitiful looks or how he would stare at me." I grimaced.

"How bad were you hurt?" she asked.

I paused and then relented. "I had a broken leg and wrist and deep lacerations on my face from the glass. The leg and wrist healed, but I have scars on my face as a reminder of what happened each and every day. My girlfriend at the time called me a freak and dumped me in the hospital. Everyone still stares at me like I'm some sort of monster."

"Some people can be cruel." She nodded. "I can't see their stares, but I can hear their whispers behind my back."

She reached up her hand and brushed my cheek. I tensed at first then slowly relaxed when I could see the peaceful look on Bella's face. She didn't seem disgusted or act as if she pitied me. She put both hands on my shoulders and raised up on her tiptoes then placed tiny kisses on the worse scars. My eyes fluttered closed as I felt warm inside. She was accepting me despite everything.

"You're not a freak, and neither am I. I like you for who you are in here." She placed her hand on my chest. "What's in here, matters most."

I covered her hand with my own. "I really like you too," I responded.

Her smile brightened her face. She looked so beautiful with her heart-shaped face and turned up nose. There were snowflakes in her hair and at that moment, I couldn't help myself. I kissed her—it was soft and sweet—her breath tasted of peppermints. She returned the kiss and leaned into me.

We broke away, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She rested her head against my chest and sighed happily.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," I said quietly.

"Bah humbug," She giggled.

I snorted. "I'm sorry, this time of year has been hard for me. But you've shown me there are reasons to enjoy it again."

"I'm happy to hear that." She kissed my jaw.

"Would you be my date for New Years?" I asked shyly.

"On one condition. I would like you to spend Christmas with us. It's time for happier memories—your parents would want that for you. I'll even try to make those cookies that you like." She hugged me.

"Deal." I nodded.

 **Two years later…**

"Where are you taking me?" Bella pouted, holding onto me.

"You'll see." I grinned when the bridge came into view. It was lit up with lights for Christmas.

As soon as our feet hit the snow-covered planks, she grinned.

"We're at our bridge," she said cheerfully.

"We are," I admitted, stopping us in the middle.

I pecked her lips lightly before taking a step back, taking both her hands in mine.

"It's been two years since you brought me to my senses, and I'm glad that you did. I now enjoy Christmas again, thanks to you," I confessed.

"I'm happy to hear that." She smiled softly.

"There's one thing on my Christmas list this year," I told her with a smile.

"What's that?" She tilted her head to the side and waited expectantly.

I took a deep breath and knelt on one knee. "Marry me?"

She covered her mouth with both hands and nodded. "Yes, of course, I will."

I pulled my mother's engagement ring out my coat pocket and slipped it on her finger. In my heart, I knew that my parents were both watching me from above, and would want me to be happy.I also knew without a shadow of a doubt that they would have loved Bella. I stood and kissed her heatedly. Once we became breathless, I just held her in my arms.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." I kissed the top of her head.

"Merry Christmas, Edward." She sighed dreamily.

I knew this Christmas would remain my favorite for years to come.

A terrible tragedy made the both of us who we are … perfect …

For each other.

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you for all the reviews and votes you have given my story.**


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